July 2nd, by Nick Notas 96 Comments Half-your-age-plus-seven. This formula has somehow become the definitive rule for the youngest age of a woman a man can date. So a year old guy can date a year old girl.
But many people in society still look down upon older men dating younger girls. This taboo makes some of my clients feel shameful about their age preferences. My own father is 10 years older than my mother. Before I get attacked as somehow being sexist…look at the anecdotal evidence. On average, men in all societies date younger women. Those Hollywood actors who have options almost always choose young women.
So why is that? Men are visual creatures Men are more visually stimulated than women. Our main attraction switches are a youthful, healthy physical appearance. We want to ensure healthy offspring. Any way you want to look at it, complications such as down syndrome and miscarriages in pregnancy rise with age. So it makes perfect sense that men are driven to younger women who have the lowest risk factors. This works out perfectly because… Women often prefer older men Since they were teenagers, many women have idolized older men.
They would drop everything for an opportunity to be with one of those guys. So I find it hilarious when I see women hate on older men for chasing younger girls when they themselves often find older men sexy.
Studies show that women mature sooner than men. Those guys tend to earn better wages and therefore be better providers. And they generally have more self-confidence as they know who they are.
Think about your own preferences… Maybe you like blondes. Maybe you like tall people. Maybe you find Asians to be irresistible. Did you consciously choose to like those qualities throughout your life?
Or do they just make you hot and tingly all over? And thinking young women are sexy falls into that category — you have nothing to be ashamed of. While women are seen as helpless victims. But what about all the couples who fall into this category including my parents who are in love or married for decades?
Are you saying these women are coerced and manipulated into being with these men? These women are willingly and happily choosing these men. That in itself may be the most disempowering, anti-feminist view I can think of. As long as both parties are legal, then there is nothing wrong with an age gap in a relationship. Just like the gay marriage debate… How about you shut the hell up about what two consenting adults do if it makes them happy?
Sign up below to get immediate access to the First Date Field Manual. Nick Notas on July 2, Yeah, it can feel a bit weird because of our own internal shame. But you just have to remember that your desires are normal and healthy. I can't speak for all ladies, but I have previously refrained from approaching men because I was scared of rejection. It's definitely uncommon to see women taking the initiative to approach men, but it does happen more often than you might expect.
A year ago, I approached a guy in his early 30s at a convenience store and asked him for his number. I found him attractive not necessarily "good looking" and thought "ah what the hell". I was 22 at the time I'm 23 now , and we've been dating happily ever since.
I initiated things and it became a sexual relationship. Andrew on September 20, so you were the one that approached him first? We are both extremely happy. It works very well because we are both career oriented and I am very mature for my age which not all women in their early twenties are.
We got very lucky and found love. But if you just want to have fun and like younger women, go for it! Christian on July 2, This is interesting. That happens to me a lot but I feel lack of self-confidence in that issue. I mean, I live in a country where most people are very traditional in that matter. Nick Notas on July 2, The advice is the same: I personally have always been attracted to women of all ages.
I look at it like this, young women for young men, older women for older men. It makes since that way. Let young men play, you had your chance lol!
Mark on July 2, Thanks for this article Nick! I love telling people my dad was older than my grandfather and then watching them try to figure that one out. My dad was 65 when I was born. Are you the grandfather? When I was 35 it felt weird asking out a 25 year old. Many men get better with age. My girlfriend right now is 24, we have been together for a year. When she first told her parents about us, they were concerned, but after a while, she told me, that they saw how happy she was, not just with me but how a more mature outlook on life made her happier all around.
Men who take good care of themselves are better often in better shape at 35 and 45 than they were at Who can give the kids more mature and calm advice.
Women have a biological window to have kids that ends fairly early, but men, in my opinion, tend to be better fathers later in life. American society would like to convince us that we should all date someone close to our own age, but the truth is age is just a number. The most important thing for me is whether we feel safe sharing how we feel; being raw with each other. And we are connected by the ability to share those feelings.
They have their own issues to deal with. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. I agree with you that many guys are in better shape later on in life. People just need to get over the stigma and their own limiting beliefs. Mark on July 2, What Avatar? Nick Notas on July 7, My bad, was on mobile and thinking of the another Mark who posts. Javier on July 2, Thanks for this post, Mark.
Great points and insights. Alternatively, they might know my age already, and then withdraw at any hint of things becoming more ongoing or intimate. Maybe not for themselves, but for what their friends or family might think? Mark on July 3, Hi Javier, I think that you are exactly right that often women this age may feel that friends, family or society in general will not accept you as a couple. This is one reason why famous older guys can get away with dating younger women much more easily.
I think it shows insecurity. They all squirm a bit with discomfort. This goes for the reverse as well. For example, joking that my tie is as old as they are which is often true.
I find some women love the maturity, confidence and things that we considered normal in our generation. Flowers, opening car doors, hand written cards with love notes inside. Often you can get an idea of which women are confident enough to go for what they want despite what friends and family think by susing out their views on other similar subjects. Please take a look at my modest blog. My few post are just a few added prices of advice. Reply Joe on March 6, To overcome that issue I usually will take a girl out for drinks.
Then when we are both sauced up i take her into a bathroom stall and whip it out. Whether or not you can take care of them very much IS. I am 25 years old and I have always been attracted to older men. My ex-boyfriend is in his late 40s. It is not really about the age, it is all about preference. On second place, older men go crazy especially on dating sites, they want to make up for all the years they stayed married.
This is my WORST story about dating an older man; I went out with a 51 year old man 3 months ago; he was gorgeous, intelligent, well-educated but he turned out to be the biggest liar I have ever known.