Michelle Lewis March 6, at 2: She started going to his office hours to ask questions about his research. But soon after, the conversations got more personal. I think he liked the attention. But these relationships are also banned at most schools, which makes them dangerous… or, for some collegiettes, intriguing. We talked with two relationship experts to figure out why collegiettes and professors start relationships, the dangers involved in such relationships, and if they could ever actually be healthy.
Why do collegiettes do it? But there are a variety of reasons as to why collegiettes would want to start a flirtation or relationship with their professor or TA, and every situation is different.
It could be that the student just thinks her professor is attractive , or it could be that she is seeking out personal validation. Some collegiettes take an older, wiser man finding them attractive as a huge compliment. Okay, we know that equating a chem professor with Edward Cullen could be a bit of a stretch, but just think of Twilight—part of the reason why the story is so fascinating to readers is because of the forbidden nature of their relationship. You might be thinking: If the student decides she ever wants to end the relationship, the professor or TA could seek out revenge by giving her a low grade in his or her class.
Kleinhans says that young women who have bad relationship experiences with older or more powerful men tend to continue to attract men that she feels subordinate to, causing her even more emotional harm in the future. Is it possible that a relationship with a TA or a professor could end well? However, Orlov warns that healthy relationships between students and instructors are very rare, and, for the most part, the dangers of such relationships outweigh any potential benefits.
So your TA or professor is young, knowledgeable, and kind of okay, really attractive. What should you do about it? Flirt and see what happens, or avoid at all costs? Aria and Fitz might have made it work in Pretty Little Liars, but in real life, dating a professor or TA could have serious emotional consequences—not to mention, such relationships are usually banned by college rules. Does it have to be this partner?
Have you ever found yourself crushing on a TA or professor? Tell us about it in the comments below!