Chris rock dating quotes. Chris Rock's funniest jokes.



Chris rock dating quotes

Chris rock dating quotes

Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl. I hope that Live Earth ends global warming the same way the Live Aid ended world poverty. Them two ns got shot!

S, I love Tupac, I love Biggie, but school will be open on their birthday. Chris Rock, Oscars host Credit: You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? My mother was real cheap. She would never pay a bill on time. If they really want you to pay it, then they'll come and tap on your window.

You know the stripper myth? There's a stripper myth, that's being perpetuated throughout society. The myth is, I'm strippin' to pay my tuition. There's no strippers in college! There's no clear heels in biology! I didn't know they had a college that only took one-dollar bills. And if they got so many strippers at college, how come I never got a smart lap dance? I never got a girl that sat on my lap and said, "If I was you, I would diversify my portfolio.

White America is so scared of black teenagers. Every town has the same two malls: Black people yelling "racism! So everybody bitching about how bad their people got it: Everyone needs to calm the f down. Yeah, I love being famous. You stole this car! Why are they so hard to maintain? You got to lie to get somebody.

Married guys know more about women than single guys. Single guys have girlfriends. Girlfriends are always auditioning, always on their best behavior. Wives are like Supreme Court justices. They do whatever the f they want. If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherf, you ain't been in love. If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for 45 minutes straight, you ain't been in love.

If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their ass up in, you ain't been in love. If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love. Fellas, once you get married you become your wife's pet. Cause women like to get their husbands together, that don't even know each other, and have like a grown-man play date. Put you in a room with some other married motherf, and go "he likes baseball, just like you".

Then you're in some room with some f stranger, going "I like baseball". Black rapper says "gun"? We need some bullet control.

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Chris Rock - All About Her [Never Scared]



Chris rock dating quotes

Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl. I hope that Live Earth ends global warming the same way the Live Aid ended world poverty. Them two ns got shot! S, I love Tupac, I love Biggie, but school will be open on their birthday.

Chris Rock, Oscars host Credit: You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? My mother was real cheap. She would never pay a bill on time. If they really want you to pay it, then they'll come and tap on your window.

You know the stripper myth? There's a stripper myth, that's being perpetuated throughout society. The myth is, I'm strippin' to pay my tuition. There's no strippers in college! There's no clear heels in biology! I didn't know they had a college that only took one-dollar bills. And if they got so many strippers at college, how come I never got a smart lap dance?

I never got a girl that sat on my lap and said, "If I was you, I would diversify my portfolio. White America is so scared of black teenagers. Every town has the same two malls: Black people yelling "racism! So everybody bitching about how bad their people got it: Everyone needs to calm the f down. Yeah, I love being famous. You stole this car! Why are they so hard to maintain?

You got to lie to get somebody. Married guys know more about women than single guys. Single guys have girlfriends. Girlfriends are always auditioning, always on their best behavior. Wives are like Supreme Court justices. They do whatever the f they want. If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherf, you ain't been in love. If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for 45 minutes straight, you ain't been in love.

If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their ass up in, you ain't been in love. If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love. Fellas, once you get married you become your wife's pet. Cause women like to get their husbands together, that don't even know each other, and have like a grown-man play date.

Put you in a room with some other married motherf, and go "he likes baseball, just like you". Then you're in some room with some f stranger, going "I like baseball". Black rapper says "gun"? We need some bullet control.

Chris rock dating quotes

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3 Comments

  1. It's like you enter another country - sometimes you're in a cursing country and then you're in a kid's country.

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