Who Holds the Power in Dating? Christian Anderson Weighs In. My job is to make it look good inside so there is a great vibe, a classy crowd, and a healthy amount of women. I have to make certain decisions about who gets in, what parties we can and cannot take care of, who we can sell tables to, and regulating a ratio of women to men. Now, we can have the hottest venue in town, an appearance by Kobe Bryant, the most sought after DJ in town, but there is one facet of a night that trumps everything.
Without it, your night crashes and no one will ever come back. With it…you can hold a party anywhere, anytime, and with none of the accoutrements I listed above. It is…wait for it…women. Women run the nightclub industry. Every decision we make, from hiring of staff to developing our guest list, is based on what women want. You literally make the club world go round. Like a promoter trying to throw the hottest night in LA, a man is trying to create the hottest date for you.
Not for him, not for his friends, not for his mother. Granted the intentions of each man might differ: But in all cases, it is about you. The reason I bring this up is that I hang out with my gals who are friends, and I get the feeling that they place themselves in a lower status to the man on these dates.
I was out with a gal last night and she was telling me that all guys in NYC just want to hook-up first and then go from there. She was almost caving into the idea that in order to actively date in NYC, she would have to accept this hook-up introduction and then see if more dates were possible. Something to keep in mind…you hold the keys. Whether we are trying to get in your pants, get into your heart, or just get close to you, we need to have you in all scenarios.
So, you have a lot more power than you think. Think about that when you go on your next date and you might be a little nervous, lacking in self esteem, or worried about what he might think.
Sure, it is his date in a sense that he asked you out and is paying for the date, but it is yours as well…you are the center of his attention and you can guide that anyway you want so use those good Dating With Dignity skills to lead it a healthy and respectful night. Your presence, your femininity, your sexuality, your tenderness, your intrigue, your interest. You balance our competitive, aggressive, action motivated masculinity in a way that just makes us melt and want to sit in your presence all night.
So when you are getting ready for your next date, affirm to yourself the two way street you are about to get on. He is hoping the same from you. You hold much more power than you think, and when you embrace it with humble arms it is the sexiest thing in the world.
Have fun out there.