Sometimes within the same eight-hour period of time. These experiences have definitely been educational, although admittedly some of the more difficult lessons needed repeating before completely ingratiating themselves within the mysterious folds of my big beautiful brain. I drink at home. These are, by no means, mutually exclusive. So without further ado, I present for your educational entertainment, the following listical: The Manchild Peter Pan Syndrome runs rampant down here, creating a large percentage of men in their thirties, forties, and beyond who have no intention of growing up.
My life is quite the opposite of that. But I do think it best to make a nod toward paying your taxes. Having children in the states with whom you are not in contact is a red flag. You get the picture. Assets Can be fun for a frivolous frolic. A carefree burst of adult play time. Allows you to practice your mommy skills. Liabilities Forces you to practice your mommy skills. If you have anything resembling ambition, their playtime can distract too much from your world of adult priorities.
Most Audacious Fail Manchild forgets valuables downtown one drunken evening. The next morning, Manchild, Ashley and dog make run to find them. Ashley wears sleeping clothes for quick errand. Manchild so happy to find valuables, he must celebrate. Manchild might still be drunk from previous night. Cheeseburgers and beers are ordered at 10am.
At the next bar, shots are downed at Shortly past noon and one bar later, Manchild orders drink for newly homeless buddy and promptly disappears.
Manchild leaves phone, vehicle and tab with Ashley. Manchild does not return after two hours, during which time Ashley has intimate conversation with wildly charismatic crackhead. Ashley and dog search every Cruz Bay bar for Manchild.
The Not-so-Single Executive These successful career men have tons of confidence when it comes to courtship. They take you out to fancy dinners at places you only go on your birthday. Order whatever you want, they say. Get a fancy cocktail, they say.
By the way…can I get just one little kiss before I drop you home? Oh this is just a little fun, they say. Assets Large discretionary income. Liabilities Tendency to have a wife in the states, from whom they might truthfully or not claim to be separated. And might he be supplied with her email address?
Not so dapper now, are we? Assets At your beck and call to run errands, lift heavy objects, and fix things. You never have to stay at his place. Most Audacious Fail Unfortunately-adorable, couch-surfing, Unskilled Gigolo and manchild fails repeatedly to earn his keep.
Ashley continually left unsatisfied. The Local I was warned about this group before moving here. It seems my combination of white skin, dark hair, and blue eyes is an exotic treat for Caribbean men , and these guys are certainly aggressive when it comes to mating rituals.
Assets Priceless opportunity to learn more about the local culture and customs. My limited experience confirms popular lore where proportion in concerned. Liabilities Cultural differences can be too vast for long-term compatibility Subject to public opinion from strangers. Disapproving sources may give the stink eye.
Rastaman frequently references his two youths. Rastaman accidentally shows picture of new baby 3 that Rastaman has neglected to mention. It seems there is one, at present. Rastaman finds no problem courting Ashley on neighboring island. Regional hero, Bob Marley set the standard for having outside women. I would like to have a child sometime in the next decade. I would like to be in a long-term, committed partnership when that happens.
Assets Life experience makes them a rich source of conversation. Older men seem to appreciate strong, smart, sassy women more than guys my own age. Liabilities Probably has kids closer in age to you than he is. Two different dirty old men. Ashley no longer puts herself in these non-sober situations. A lovely family, regardless. The Serial Monogamist By far the most benign of the bunch, this guy seems like the greatest catch at first. And he very well might be the greatest catch.
Assets Eager to do couple-y things. Liabilities You wonder if he likes the idea of dating you more than he actually likes you. Also, with this type, you better go ahead and expect a period of overlap on both ends. Most Audacious Fail Start passionate romance with girl vacationing on island. Girl lives with serious, long-term boyfriend back home. Continue passionate romance remotely, consequence be damned. Drop L-word after two weeks of togetherness. When girl cannot reciprocate so soon, build impenetrable wall.
When girl visits homeland several months later, start dating next girl. Maybe she will be The One. Not crazy, like ALL the others. So many crazies, so little time. Who of my fellow island gyals are dying to dish?