Dating an abuse survivor. This Is What It’s Like To Date A Girl Who’s A Survivor Of Sexual Assault.



Dating an abuse survivor

Dating an abuse survivor

Tord Sollie Let me start off by saying that I am the lucky one in this situation. I started dating my girlfriend in January of I met her during the first semester of my freshman year and we were absolute best friends. We vented to one another, joked, went out on the weekends together, and talked about our dreams and aspirations. I never knew much about her past dating life.

I knew only that she was beautiful, and from what she had told me during the first semester, many guys on our campus took to her beauty. As we became closer, I, as I typically do, became excited about the prospect of us spending plenty of time together down the line—we were only freshmen, and three more years with her was an unprecedented amount of time for us to grow closer and deepen the connection that we had already begun to create.

All was going swimmingly, until one night, she started crying as we lied in bed together: And the worst part is that he will never believe it. Being surrounded by so many successful and confident women made me admire them. My father had taught me from a young age to appreciate and respect women. Whenever I failed to do so, my penalty was harsh. I recall a day when I was nine years old.

Innocently, I ordered my mom to make dinner for me, complaining about my hunger. My father was absolutely livid—I was grounded for a month and told that no woman would ever be my subordinate, and that I was never to treat one as such.

He was someone relatively close to me: Her normally rosy colored cheeks turned white, and her infectious smile violently turned into a full-fledged frown as tears rolled down her face. I need to get away. Perhaps the most disturbing part of this situation is that her rapist, a man who turned a confident and bubbly girl into an insecure mess, takes no responsibility for his actions.

He brags about their hook up, and believes she is making the entire story up. This creates a deeper sense of neglect for my girlfriend, who feels ashamed and lonely in the seemingly winless battle against her own mind.

Rape is a ripple effect. Yes, like a rock hitting the water, the epicenter feels the most severe effects of the action, but the ripples feel a more slight, but pervasive force. Those close to my girlfriend have felt unimaginable sadness. Her mother has taken mental health days home from work, unable to concentrate on her career.

Her father has cancelled trips because all he can think about is his daughter. I often have what feels like hundreds of emotions flowing through me at a single time. I feel embarrassed—my own fraternity a place that I spent six miserable weeks pledging my allegiance to accepts rapists. And maybe the worst emotion of all—I feel alone. And if I ever complain about how I feel, it will be trite compared to the trauma that my girlfriend feels on a daily basis.

I am not the victim, though it often feels like I am. As my story can prove, rape is a crime that can ruin far more than two lives. So, whenever you hear about a rape victim, know the severe psychological pain that they face on a daily basis, and be respectful of their feelings.

Meet the students of Five Points High School. Catch Five Points, a new series only on Facebook Watch. Would love to check out any other work you might have on this topic from this particular perspective.

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Heartbreaking Reality Of Dating A Rape Survivor ft. Blogilates



Dating an abuse survivor

Tord Sollie Let me start off by saying that I am the lucky one in this situation. I started dating my girlfriend in January of I met her during the first semester of my freshman year and we were absolute best friends. We vented to one another, joked, went out on the weekends together, and talked about our dreams and aspirations. I never knew much about her past dating life. I knew only that she was beautiful, and from what she had told me during the first semester, many guys on our campus took to her beauty.

As we became closer, I, as I typically do, became excited about the prospect of us spending plenty of time together down the line—we were only freshmen, and three more years with her was an unprecedented amount of time for us to grow closer and deepen the connection that we had already begun to create.

All was going swimmingly, until one night, she started crying as we lied in bed together: And the worst part is that he will never believe it. Being surrounded by so many successful and confident women made me admire them. My father had taught me from a young age to appreciate and respect women.

Whenever I failed to do so, my penalty was harsh. I recall a day when I was nine years old. Innocently, I ordered my mom to make dinner for me, complaining about my hunger. My father was absolutely livid—I was grounded for a month and told that no woman would ever be my subordinate, and that I was never to treat one as such. He was someone relatively close to me: Her normally rosy colored cheeks turned white, and her infectious smile violently turned into a full-fledged frown as tears rolled down her face.

I need to get away. Perhaps the most disturbing part of this situation is that her rapist, a man who turned a confident and bubbly girl into an insecure mess, takes no responsibility for his actions. He brags about their hook up, and believes she is making the entire story up.

This creates a deeper sense of neglect for my girlfriend, who feels ashamed and lonely in the seemingly winless battle against her own mind. Rape is a ripple effect. Yes, like a rock hitting the water, the epicenter feels the most severe effects of the action, but the ripples feel a more slight, but pervasive force.

Those close to my girlfriend have felt unimaginable sadness. Her mother has taken mental health days home from work, unable to concentrate on her career. Her father has cancelled trips because all he can think about is his daughter. I often have what feels like hundreds of emotions flowing through me at a single time.

I feel embarrassed—my own fraternity a place that I spent six miserable weeks pledging my allegiance to accepts rapists. And maybe the worst emotion of all—I feel alone. And if I ever complain about how I feel, it will be trite compared to the trauma that my girlfriend feels on a daily basis. I am not the victim, though it often feels like I am. As my story can prove, rape is a crime that can ruin far more than two lives. So, whenever you hear about a rape victim, know the severe psychological pain that they face on a daily basis, and be respectful of their feelings.

Meet the students of Five Points High School. Catch Five Points, a new series only on Facebook Watch. Would love to check out any other work you might have on this topic from this particular perspective.

Dating an abuse survivor

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3 Comments

  1. Anger at his parents for doubting him when he finally built up the courage to tell them. This creates a deeper sense of neglect for my girlfriend, who feels ashamed and lonely in the seemingly winless battle against her own mind. It is beautifully written, candid, and an extremely important contribution to the mental illness discussion.

  2. When he told me that he was raped, it all made sense. My friends and family have the right to tell me when they need a break. I feel embarrassed—my own fraternity a place that I spent six miserable weeks pledging my allegiance to accepts rapists.

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