In fact, it can be quite easy to deduce whether someone is really playing the manipulative game of seduction or is simply scared of being in a new relationship. This information is invaluable and should guide your personal dating strategy. It certainly may be. However, this strategy has long been used as a tool of seduction to increase attraction and desire.
I have experienced this first hand and can sympathize with my clients about how frustrating it is — that is until you take your emotions out of the equation. This tool is employed by someone whose character is more of a Coquette who is trying to frustrate you on purpose and only offers a glimmer of hope for happiness, pleasure and perhaps power. This date wants you to chase him or her and it is this game that he or she enjoys immensely.
If you know that your date wants you to chase them AND you can begin to separate your emotions from the situation, you will realize that there are two potential reasons for your dates behavior: He or she is sophisticated enough to do this on purpose OR he does not know what he wants. Date other people and do not chase him or her.
If he or she is simply confused or scared your absence will likely invite them to stop playing games and ask you what is going on. This is especially important for women as we tend to fall for these games more often than not. If you stop pursuing and he comes around, it is okay to confront the behavior. Any sign of defensiveness rather than an apology should give you the data you need to know that this person is not looking for a serious relationship.
Once you have that data, you may choose whether to continue to enjoy the game playing or move on. Many of my clients know that I spend much of my time dancing. It is not unheard of in the Latin dance community for men to use their dance skills to try to pick up women.
You do not find them speaking to many other people and there is usually a ton of chemistry exuded in the beginning. Once I figured out that he was playing, I cut out my emotions from our interactions. Every once in awhile they resurface and I remind myself that I am human.
It happens when you see someone on a regular basis. Why Cultivating a Life your Love is Key What this person does not know is that I have done a good job cultivating real friendships and relationships in our shared community.
Both men and women contact me to share information about this person and it has helped me stay grounded in my conviction that I will never chase him nor will I fall for him.
In this way, I can enjoy the flirtatious behavior on the dance floor and not worry about anything else. Understanding his behavior has given me the freedom to just be myself.
The unintended but wonderful consequence is that freedom makes me highly attractive to all the other men in our community as well.