Dating contracts for teenagers. Parent Strategy: Contracts for Teens.



Dating contracts for teenagers

Dating contracts for teenagers

In one study, researchers found that high school students consistently rated the time spent alone with an opposite-sex partner as the time when they were happiest and most satisfied with life. Therefore, as parents, how can you tell if your son or daughter is ready to date? Greg was returning home from college for the holidays and wanted to double-date the following weekend. Since I had never been on a date, I emphatically tried talking him out of the idea. Late Thursday night, I finally called the only girl I thought would say yes.

Her name was Stacey and she sat next to me in Geometry class. To my surprise she said yes. Obviously she had no idea what she was getting into! Thinking that we could deal with the silence if we had food to eat, Stacey and I went to the salad bar. Stunned, Stacey let the watermelon slowly drip off her forehead — casually kicking it under the food bar.

Without saying a word, she then moved to the next food container. What we did is the same thing that other families can do to help determine if their teenagers are ready to begin dating as well. As we help parents answer this difficult question, we encourage them to develop a dating contract.

Growing up in our family, our parents required us to demonstrate that we understood three important character qualities before we could date: Having a written contract helps take the pressure off guessing when a teen is ready to date.

Instead, dating readiness should be the result of a teenager displaying certain internal character qualities. Listed below are the three areas that we needed to develop before dating. Before we were allowed to enter into a dating relationship, we had to demonstrate that we understood the importance of honoring God, others, and ourselves.

This character quality is founded upon the Matthew This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: We were encouraged to understand that we need to be responsible for our own actions and emotions. Furthermore, we knew that we needed to be responsible for our actions as well. Again, as a family, write down your own definition of responsibility.

What specific behaviors need to be included? How will you know if your son or daughter is responsible — what will they be doing or not doing? These questions can help you determine what needs to go into your formal dating contract.

Resistance To Peer Pressure. Our parents were interested in seeing that we had self-control and could stand up for our beliefs. As parents, when you talk about these issues with your teen, determine their specific beliefs and convictions. The stronger their personal convictions, the easier it can be to state their beliefs and respectfully stand against peer pressure.

We encourage you as a family to make a list of the beliefs and convictions necessary for dating. Then, write them into the contract in such a way that you can readily identify them. Therefore, we encourage you to make sure that your teenager is fully aware of the consequences of premarital sex.

Being informed concerning the effects of sexual experimentation adds to their being ready to date. Josh McDowell has several good books which deal with the issue of premarital sex and teenage dating. Developing a dating contract can provide a family with accountability, fairness, clarity, security and togetherness. As a family, we encourage you to write down what each child needs to demonstrate before they can date.

Remember to make the character traits specific and easily recognizable. Making Love Last Forever. Greg is the author or co-author of eight books concerning marriages and families. Visit Greg at www. Taken with permission from Greg Smalley, Psy. Please share your thoughts and comments:

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Dating contracts for teenagers

In one study, researchers found that high school students consistently rated the time spent alone with an opposite-sex partner as the time when they were happiest and most satisfied with life. Therefore, as parents, how can you tell if your son or daughter is ready to date? Greg was returning home from college for the holidays and wanted to double-date the following weekend. Since I had never been on a date, I emphatically tried talking him out of the idea. Late Thursday night, I finally called the only girl I thought would say yes.

Her name was Stacey and she sat next to me in Geometry class. To my surprise she said yes. Obviously she had no idea what she was getting into! Thinking that we could deal with the silence if we had food to eat, Stacey and I went to the salad bar. Stunned, Stacey let the watermelon slowly drip off her forehead — casually kicking it under the food bar.

Without saying a word, she then moved to the next food container. What we did is the same thing that other families can do to help determine if their teenagers are ready to begin dating as well.

As we help parents answer this difficult question, we encourage them to develop a dating contract. Growing up in our family, our parents required us to demonstrate that we understood three important character qualities before we could date: Having a written contract helps take the pressure off guessing when a teen is ready to date.

Instead, dating readiness should be the result of a teenager displaying certain internal character qualities. Listed below are the three areas that we needed to develop before dating. Before we were allowed to enter into a dating relationship, we had to demonstrate that we understood the importance of honoring God, others, and ourselves. This character quality is founded upon the Matthew This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: We were encouraged to understand that we need to be responsible for our own actions and emotions.

Furthermore, we knew that we needed to be responsible for our actions as well. Again, as a family, write down your own definition of responsibility. What specific behaviors need to be included? How will you know if your son or daughter is responsible — what will they be doing or not doing?

These questions can help you determine what needs to go into your formal dating contract. Resistance To Peer Pressure. Our parents were interested in seeing that we had self-control and could stand up for our beliefs.

As parents, when you talk about these issues with your teen, determine their specific beliefs and convictions. The stronger their personal convictions, the easier it can be to state their beliefs and respectfully stand against peer pressure.

We encourage you as a family to make a list of the beliefs and convictions necessary for dating. Then, write them into the contract in such a way that you can readily identify them. Therefore, we encourage you to make sure that your teenager is fully aware of the consequences of premarital sex.

Being informed concerning the effects of sexual experimentation adds to their being ready to date. Josh McDowell has several good books which deal with the issue of premarital sex and teenage dating.

Developing a dating contract can provide a family with accountability, fairness, clarity, security and togetherness. As a family, we encourage you to write down what each child needs to demonstrate before they can date.

Remember to make the character traits specific and easily recognizable. Making Love Last Forever. Greg is the author or co-author of eight books concerning marriages and families. Visit Greg at www.

Taken with permission from Greg Smalley, Psy. Please share your thoughts and comments:

Dating contracts for teenagers

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4 Comments

  1. The stronger their personal convictions, the easier it can be to state their beliefs and respectfully stand against peer pressure.

  2. We encourage you as a family to make a list of the beliefs and convictions necessary for dating.

  3. These behaviors could be priorities, and some should be related to the behaviors that are causing the most problems, i. Teen will earn parents' trust and be better equipped to cope with stresses.

  4. I'd like to receive the free email course. Adults will tend to have different expectations of a teen depending upon their own outlook, and many times, adults who are not ultimately responsible for the teen may not enforce the rules and consequences which you are taking the time to carefully plan, in essence, undermining and making your contract ineffective.

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