They're text-heavy games where each click brings you a little closer to either getting to see some cartoon porn or ending up in a "game over" screen and then seeing that cartoon porn on Google anyway.
The stories always involve a childhood friend you secretly lust for, a wise character with glasses who gives you advice that you secretly lust for and, this being Japan, a healthy dose of insanity. Some of these games take that last part a little too far, though, leading to some very confusing boners.
Advertisement 6 School Days -- Piss Off Your Girlfriend, Cause a Bloodbath School Days is a popular erotic "visual novel" that inspired various spin-offs across different media -- including Cross Days, the game you can play with a literal cock control and which outs you as a pervert if you try to pirate it. In School Days, your character is a kid named Makoto who gets involved in a romantic triangle with two classmates that you have to get him out of without breaking the hearts of either of the girls You can find the whole scene here if you want to see it in all its glory you really do.
Continue Reading Below Advertisement That's what happens if you string along one of the girls but then start seeing the other one on the side -- the first girl catches wind of it and kills her rival with a hacksaw. When you think about it, this means that even the "happy" endings are secretly terrifying, because you're now either dating or good friends with a potential psychopath waiting to snap.
The cover gives no indication of this, but you should know better than that anyway. Continue Reading Below Advertisement If, instead of cheating on the first girl, you actually break up with her to date the other one guilt-free, then the one you just dumped jumps off a bridge and lands headfirst on the cement right in front of you both. Even if you try to do things right, you still wind up soaked in blood. For example, if you stick with the first girl and ignore the other one, then at the end of the game she pushes your girlfriend in front of an oncoming train, leaving you holding her disembodied hand.
In another possible ending, it's both girls who are run over by the train after one tries to kill the other , and in another one, it's you.
As if to acknowledge that the bad endings that you get if you play the game wrong are the most popular feature, the School Days anime adaptation ends with the protagonist decapitated and his girlfriend dead. That's like doing a Super Mario Bros. The setup is that your character in the game has always been nice to stray cats, so one day he's rewarded by a powerful cat god who offers to grant him one wish. Naturally, he asks for a cat-girl who will have sex with him, because what other reason could there be for not being a dick to animals?
We're on to you, cat owners. The cat-girl is also a maid because those are legally required to appear in these games , and as soon as she's out of the box, she immediately proceeds to give your character a blowjob. If you still feel like you need to play this game after that, there are plenty more surprises in store.
Several other animal-human aberrations somehow end up in your house, too, including a literal Playboy bunny: