Dating a divorced man means newly vacated slots. But is it worth it? For most people, divorce implies failure, disaster, tragedy, neglect, nasty custody battles, nastier money issues, and irreconcilable differences.
Some even cringe at the idea of dating a divorced man. Think about these things first and make sure you know what you are getting when dating a divorced man. Before even thinking about dating a divorced man, first know where the divorce really stands. Is he going through the divorce process? How long has the process been going on? Knowing where the divorce stands, and where he stands in the divorce, tells you just how committed he is in a potential relationship with you, and if you should be serious about the relationship.
Entertain the idea that he may not be too thrilled to integrate you into his circle too soon. He probably expects you to be discreet about your relationship for a while. With being discreet comes social media restrictions.
Keep your dates to yourself, too. Unless you want to be portrayed as the home-wrecker. He may not feel as excited about the whole idea of marriage, especially after coming off a rough one. The thing is, he might be jaded about the whole thing after what he experienced. On the upside, everything in his life is pretty much figured out—kids, house, finances, and all that.
Be prepared to have conversations about his ex, especially if the divorce proceedings are underway. Be secure enough about yourself to hear about the ex without overanalyzing things or taking it all too personally. Whatever you want to know, wait until your man is comfortable enough to tell you about it. Stop reminding him of his ex by making him rehash the old times. If he shared responsibilities with his ex like children or pet, be prepared to cross paths with the ex sooner or later.
While awkward, be polite and learn to set boundaries for yourself and for them as a divorced couple. One or both of them may still be bitter about their past marriage or the divorce.
You might find yourself in the middle of it all. If you think he is pretty much set and stable in life, think again.
Showering where they may have showered together. Sleeping on the bed where they had sex. Cooking for your boyfriend in the kitchen where they might have had sex too. They will judge you and even stack you up against his ex. Walk through that stage where they will look you up and down, as well as talk about you behind your back.
The important thing to focus on remains your relationship with your boyfriend, which should speak for itself in the end. Now how you relate with them will be tricky. Tread lightly in this department, because you consider both their well-being without overstepping any boundaries offending them and his ex-wife.
They are his priority over you. So you have to learn to adjust to a new, and perhaps strange role of being like a stepmom to his kids. Or at least building a connection with them too. However, if your goal in a relationship is just to enjoy the dating part and are not ready to have instant kids, rethink going out with a divorced guy. On your end, are you ready for a blended family? A horrible marriage can be scarring. Either way, no one comes out of a marriage unscathed.
If you happen to be dating a divorced guy with a bad experience in his earlier marriage, he may not consider marriage again, or approach it with plenty of hesitations. Take a close look at your boyfriend and see just why his wife left him. Think about your current relationship too.
Has he learned from the mistakes of his past marriage, or is he just reliving it all again? He may also be having a difficult time adjusting to a new relationship after a failed marriage. Therefore, do your best to be level-headed, kind, and considerate of what he may be going through. Liked what you just read?