Beth Gillette Feature Image By: These apps have entirely changed the way our society views dating and relationships. Being a plus size woman, however, there come even more challenges than the usual. Since the start of my dating app days, I have learned a lot about how to navigate these apps in a way that is empowering and builds my confidence rather than doing the opposite.
I can recall meeting a guy from Tinder in real life and him completely rejecting me because he thought I looked different in my pictures. After that, I was terrified to meet up with anyone, changed all my pictures, and basically stopped opening the app. Rather than getting down on myself, I really should have remembered that it was his fault for wanting to tear me down like that.
Unmatch Anyone Who Shames Your Body Aside from the internal criticism, it is incredibly common for men on these sites to comment on how I look. Sure, it hurts to see something like that regardless of how much self-love and acceptance you have, but it acts as a reminder that you are the boss of your own life and matches! Pay Attention to the Signs of Fetishization There is a big difference between someone desiring your body and loving you for your perceived flaws and them fetishizing your weight.
If a match constantly makes comments about your size, asks about specific numbers in regards to your weight, encourages you to eat more or gain weight in an unhealthy way, or refers to you in common fetishizing words, that probably means he or she is a hard no. It is important for someone to be attracted to who you are rather than being obsessed with a specific trait about you.
Understanding that these are two different things has stopped me from potentially harmful relationships many times. I know this is a given, but learning to be myself and finding new ways to share my personality has changed the dating game for me. If a guy really wants to make a connection rather than a one night thing, he should appreciate who I am over how I look. Take Risks Without Fear of Rejection When I first started using dating apps, I never asked anyone out first, and I always waited for the guy to message me first.
Bumble definitely helped get over the latter issue, but it took understanding that I have some power too to comprehend how important it is to take the risk of asking someone to coffee or out for drinks. How do you navigate the online dating world? Are there any tips we missed? Let us know in the comments!