First, I assured her that her daughter will get hurt. Even more important than trying to avoid pain is helping our sons and daughters and ourselves to know that they are strong, capable, and powerful — and that they can overcome hurt. Resiliency, self-respect, self-esteem, confidence, perseverance, and wisdom are the things to focus on instilling in your children, as these things will both help them to avoid pain and to recover from it quickly.
We are misled in our society to think there is only one person out there for us, only one soul mate — only one great love. The truth is that, out of millions of people, there are far more than one with whom wcan have a wonderful spiritual, physical, emotional and intellectual connection. With that said, there are some tidbits of advice for our teenagers and young adults that can help them in the realm of young love: Know that your first love, and even your second love, and maybe even your third love and beyond are very unlikely to be your last ing love.
So often teens start dreaming about happily-ever-after with the first person they date, which is understandable, but not realistic. While it does happen, it is not likely. Remember as you are dating that this is a love, not the love and there will always be more love.
Love is abundant, not scarce. Any scarcity we experience is not based on the truth about love, it is based on our inability to access it. I still remember the boys that were the object of my puppy love and it was, perhaps, some of the purest love of my life. Just as the love is real, the choices you make can bring about real consequences that will affect the entire rest of your life.
If it is just sex, it is like eating ice cream when you are hungry. Then it often makes you feel worse shortly thereafter, because what your body was really craving was something healthy. Remember that every action has a consequence. Resiliency, so that we can bounce back after we have been hurt, is a critical relationship skill. Help your children identify their many good qualities, talents and strengths.
Explore and encourage the long list of things they want to do, learn and create and all the things they love about life — beyond other people. This will help them remember what they have to live for when they get hurt. While avoiding unnecessary pain is a trait of wisdom, being afraid of pain can be paralyzing. Go forth and love— wisely. What did you learn about love from being a teen? This article courtesy of Spirituality and Health.
In Real Love with Eve, she shares skills, principles, and tools for creating healthy, harmonious relationships—with friends, family, lovers, co-workers, and the world at large.
Her uncommon approach to common sense will help you sail away from ego battles and into the calmer waters of real love. Learn more about Eve's Heart Path retreats at her website.