Dating transgender woman reddit. I’m a lesbian and a transgender woman—and those two aren’t mutually exclusive.



Dating transgender woman reddit

Dating transgender woman reddit

It was sometime during my first half-dozen dates with my girlfriend when I first became conscious of my body as a queer one.

But if it was late at night, our interlocking fingers would separate within seconds. We never knew who we were sharing the streets with when it was dark. I had been thinking what my body meant as a trans body for a long time. I knew I looked like a woman to the rest of the world, and I certainly had the secondary sex characteristics to prove it.

But I felt caught in an endless feedback loop: During those first few months of dating my girlfriend, I really began to own the term. There was the fact that I was seen as a lesbian, much to the approval of other queer people who walked past us on the street. I was a lesbian. We were queer women. But for some trans women, calling themselves a lesbian remains an uphill battle. And even now, I still struggle to accept that I can be both a transgender woman and queer.

Who gets to be a lesbian? In most cases, probably not a transgender woman. This is because lesbian women are primarily seen as attracted to cisgender women. More often than not, women who make that claim have plenty of support, too. And trans women need to lay off on arguing otherwise. In my case, I spent the first 21 years of my life predominantly sexually attracted to cisgender women. But ever since I began my gender transition, most of my sexual experiences have been with other trans women.

Rather, the emotional labor that comes with dating cis lesbians is incredibly high, and that means the risk for having a bad encounter is, too. And honestly, it just grows tiresome if all your date wants to do is ask you stuff about your body, and not about you. Trans sexuality is a healing presence, and more often than not, I feel inexplicably attracted to other trans women because they make me feel less alone.

We share something in common: And that makes us special. Just as cisgender feminists look to one another for fellowship, trans women search for belonging from other trans women, too. And is there any better way to tell someone that you care about them than by being intimate together? Suddenly, some lesbian bodies are more desirable, or more legit, than others—while those at the bottom of the rung are told they are not.

And for many queer women, that includes trans women. That way lies moralism only. Among women, we stand alone. Genital preferences are not transphobic but your rhetoric around them is.

Linking womanhood to genitalia is cisnormative and erases trans lesbians and their cis partners. When I first began dating my girlfriend, all the internalized hatred and anxiety I felt about being a trans woman flooded my brain.

I had to deal with some pretty complicated questions about my body that I suppressed over the years. Could I really call myself a lesbian if I held onto my penis? Why did I feel masculine when I slept with another woman? If I was attractive to a cisgender woman, then maybe that truly meant I was a lesbian woman. Trans lesbian relationships in a nutshell pic.

I fell in love with a trans woman. And one issue at a time, I admitted that I had a problem with my transness and began working things out. I realized that my genitals have no bearing on my gender identity.

And I decided if trans women are women, I am a lesbian regardless of how my body looks. What made me a lesbian is actually, honestly, believing I am a woman. Not by reading enough queer theory books or collecting enough gender dysphoria diagnoses to prove I was one. Just looking at myself and accepting reality: So if trans women like me—who have to live with their queer bodies on a regular basis and navigate the world through them—can come to terms with their sexuality and call themselves lesbians, then cis women can do the same when they think about us, too.

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Dating As A Transgender Person



Dating transgender woman reddit

It was sometime during my first half-dozen dates with my girlfriend when I first became conscious of my body as a queer one. But if it was late at night, our interlocking fingers would separate within seconds.

We never knew who we were sharing the streets with when it was dark. I had been thinking what my body meant as a trans body for a long time. I knew I looked like a woman to the rest of the world, and I certainly had the secondary sex characteristics to prove it. But I felt caught in an endless feedback loop: During those first few months of dating my girlfriend, I really began to own the term. There was the fact that I was seen as a lesbian, much to the approval of other queer people who walked past us on the street.

I was a lesbian. We were queer women. But for some trans women, calling themselves a lesbian remains an uphill battle. And even now, I still struggle to accept that I can be both a transgender woman and queer. Who gets to be a lesbian? In most cases, probably not a transgender woman. This is because lesbian women are primarily seen as attracted to cisgender women.

More often than not, women who make that claim have plenty of support, too. And trans women need to lay off on arguing otherwise. In my case, I spent the first 21 years of my life predominantly sexually attracted to cisgender women. But ever since I began my gender transition, most of my sexual experiences have been with other trans women.

Rather, the emotional labor that comes with dating cis lesbians is incredibly high, and that means the risk for having a bad encounter is, too. And honestly, it just grows tiresome if all your date wants to do is ask you stuff about your body, and not about you. Trans sexuality is a healing presence, and more often than not, I feel inexplicably attracted to other trans women because they make me feel less alone. We share something in common: And that makes us special.

Just as cisgender feminists look to one another for fellowship, trans women search for belonging from other trans women, too. And is there any better way to tell someone that you care about them than by being intimate together?

Suddenly, some lesbian bodies are more desirable, or more legit, than others—while those at the bottom of the rung are told they are not.

And for many queer women, that includes trans women. That way lies moralism only. Among women, we stand alone. Genital preferences are not transphobic but your rhetoric around them is. Linking womanhood to genitalia is cisnormative and erases trans lesbians and their cis partners.

When I first began dating my girlfriend, all the internalized hatred and anxiety I felt about being a trans woman flooded my brain.

I had to deal with some pretty complicated questions about my body that I suppressed over the years. Could I really call myself a lesbian if I held onto my penis? Why did I feel masculine when I slept with another woman? If I was attractive to a cisgender woman, then maybe that truly meant I was a lesbian woman.

Trans lesbian relationships in a nutshell pic. I fell in love with a trans woman. And one issue at a time, I admitted that I had a problem with my transness and began working things out.

I realized that my genitals have no bearing on my gender identity. And I decided if trans women are women, I am a lesbian regardless of how my body looks. What made me a lesbian is actually, honestly, believing I am a woman.

Not by reading enough queer theory books or collecting enough gender dysphoria diagnoses to prove I was one. Just looking at myself and accepting reality: So if trans women like me—who have to live with their queer bodies on a regular basis and navigate the world through them—can come to terms with their sexuality and call themselves lesbians, then cis women can do the same when they think about us, too.

Dating transgender woman reddit

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  1. Use it before I lose it" and added telling emojis, making it clear for anyone who read it to deduce that she was in the midst of transitioning. In most cases, probably not a transgender woman. And is there any better way to tell someone that you care about them than by being intimate together?

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