Here's how your date will go, OP: Your comments are so far beyond mean spirited that I find myself in awe that you haven't been stoned to death by someone yet. Disgrace to the gay community????? Your statement is nothing if not pure unadulterated contempt, you vile person. You are not going to change him OP.
He knows he is obese. He is most likely unhappy about. He will decide when or if he is ready to loose weight - not you. Here's what I suggest: Go out to dinner, IF you have the slightest attraction to him at all, then go with it.
If you don't, make it clear that it's only a 'friends night out'. However, if you find there may be more to the relationship, you must be gentle. Most fat people are well aware of the fact that they are fat, but there's such a long road ahead they are often not ready to face it. You said you're about 30lbs overweight, so what you could do is try together to get healthier. Don't set any numbers, just try to eat better and exercise a little. Maybe your friend would join a gym with you and you could go together.
But if you do date him, try to be sensitive to the fact that he probably hates himself for being fat. And don't be pushy about the weight loss. Just my 2 cents. I know from my own experience that I hate being nagged about my weight, and suggestions to go to the gym used to drive me into the arms of a chocolate cake.
Any other suggestions on how to exercise some sensitivity around him? The more I think about it, the more I think I could enjoy being with him. I wasn't saying that the thought of having sex with him disgusts me. I was just saying I can't imagine it. And for those who say I'm making too much of this, he's emailed me twice about making arrangements for the dinners, asking me what restaurant I would like, etc. He's clearly planning a romantic evening.
I'm lbs over weight and not only do I play sports, I ride bikes, go for walks, etc. I'm a red belt in martial arts. I go 2 to 3 times a week. And the weight fluctuates from 5 lbs lost, to 5 lbs gained all the time. I don't understand it as I try watching what I eat and I sweat profusely when I work out. I just can't seem to lose more than a few pounds at a time and then I gain them right back if I take a week off from working out.
By continously focusing on food by thinking about which restraunt to go to, the food and therefore the weight becomes an issue.