Focus on the family dating podcast. Dating Wisely.



Focus on the family dating podcast

Focus on the family dating podcast

Podcast Author Gary Thomas discusses several issues within the modern dating scene — character vs. Part 1 of 2 Episode Transcript Opening: And those decisions in your 20s, early 30s now, as this is being delayed, who do I marry? Well, this is me, Jim. How many kids-- John: Gary Thomas, of course, is a well-known author and speaker on this topic. Let me ask you a question. I love that vulnerability.

So, I share in your uh But tell me why. Why did you feel you were being a hypocrite uh You guys are old men here. I want you to think back on what did dad do when he dated and do the opposite. I was driven by infatuation.

Now God in His enormous grace and kindness, provided a But certainly, the process to get there was broken. I have been blessed literally every day of my life because of one decision I made as a single man that I wanted to marry Lisa. It changes who you are. It becomes a part of your history, a part of your life. And if singles want to make one wise decision in their life, next to becoming a Christian, this is the one that has to be thoughtful, with their eyes wide open, with counsel, driven by the truth of Scripture and not, frankly, I think the many ridiculous and misleading message that the world gives us.

Laughing , you know, that takes a lot of maturity. Because most Christian singles today, I believe, value the same things about marriage as non-Christian singles. Those are the things that most people are drawn to. And if those three things are present, they think, well, this is a But those things have been proven not to hold a marriage together.

I think of a Hollywood actress who was involved in a cable television show. In the height of her fame, [she] released a book, a sex manual for couples. And in it, she described her husband as an artist. She said, he had this virtuoso move that would send her over the top.

Within weeks of that book coming out, they announced their separation. Within a year, they were divorced. And the fact that you get along well on a date, that you like the same movies and the same kind of pizza, it Those things are passing. Gary, with that in mind, should a couple wait a couple of years so that infatuation stage passes them and their clarity comes and the fog of the moment uh Are their eyes opened?

I realize this is a challenge. Now we sort of Christianize it as if God created one person just for us. But it also refers to single women and at first, he discusses that singleness is an option. And they might want to consider that. This is what you do not want to be led astray with. In other words, get married for the sake of righteousness, because you want to live a righteous life.

And you start looking. How again, do you get the handle on this distinction between an infatuation and doing it in such a way that is uplifting righteousness? In fact, you say in your book, that infatuation only lasts maybe 12 to 18 months. It is actually and for some, it would be less than that. For some, it might not even last that long. But even then, if you look at a brain under a scope and infatuation, at say, 13 months, is demonstrably different than one at six months.

It carries you away. And yet, neurologists now, because we know so much more about the brain in this generation than any previous age, that it literally makes us blind. You know, somebody does something innocuous, a guy and a gal are in a college cafe. She drops a fork. And he picks it up instead of just leaving it there.

Look, he picked up the fork! And everybody else is like Laughter , he just picked up the fork. They created somebody else in their mind and There has to be sufficient time till you get through that brain fog and you can have an accurate picture of who really am I relating to?

What does it mean to be infatuated? You can have extreme energy, even hyperactivity and sleeplessness. One or both partners develops a goal-oriented fixation on winning the beloved. Are they worth keeping? If people challenge you, that tends to draw you closer together. You become emotionally dependent on the relationship. You reorder daily priorities so that you can always be together. You might have known them for only a And so, it really just basically, takes over your neurological processing.

It takes over your mental thoughts and you become obsessed with this person. And really what I think, another way to describe [it] is, it makes you feel desperate, fearful and clingy.

Laughter Now put all-- Jim: It makes you write-- Gary: Well, God designed infatuation. He designed our brains. It has a good creational purpose. They got married too quickly. Let me drill into that, because there was a statement in your book that really caught my attention and it fits right here. That sounds Laughter so contradictory. And she wanted my advice. And she began to describe some things that alarmed me.

One, she caught him on the phone telling another woman, not his sister and not his mom, that he loved her. He could be somewhat emotionally abusive in a way that would send her into crying fits. I am deeply and passionately in love with him. I was devastated when he left me. It might lead you into a third. Gary, you talked about a study that really showed the value that women in particular, place on romantic love. Nowadays, less than 10 percent-- John: I want to be walking my daughter down the aisle toward a man that she respects, because respect is something that grows.

His character will grow. Character is something that lasts. But how do I truly learn to develop that ability to place character over infatuation, when you just told me a little while ago that infatuation makes me blind and stupid. Laughter I mean, wh What are the hooks that I can say-- Gary: One, recognize what infatuation is doing to you. It makes you vulnerable and stupid. And I hope we have time to get into it. And then, you go through that list and then you can begin to see, okay, this makes sense.

It can happen that way. What do you mean in your book about the sole He really is the one who surmised that, wh They worship God together. They serve God together.

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Focus on the family dating podcast

Podcast Author Gary Thomas discusses several issues within the modern dating scene — character vs. Part 1 of 2 Episode Transcript Opening: And those decisions in your 20s, early 30s now, as this is being delayed, who do I marry?

Well, this is me, Jim. How many kids-- John: Gary Thomas, of course, is a well-known author and speaker on this topic.

Let me ask you a question. I love that vulnerability. So, I share in your uh But tell me why. Why did you feel you were being a hypocrite uh You guys are old men here. I want you to think back on what did dad do when he dated and do the opposite. I was driven by infatuation. Now God in His enormous grace and kindness, provided a But certainly, the process to get there was broken. I have been blessed literally every day of my life because of one decision I made as a single man that I wanted to marry Lisa.

It changes who you are. It becomes a part of your history, a part of your life. And if singles want to make one wise decision in their life, next to becoming a Christian, this is the one that has to be thoughtful, with their eyes wide open, with counsel, driven by the truth of Scripture and not, frankly, I think the many ridiculous and misleading message that the world gives us. Laughing , you know, that takes a lot of maturity. Because most Christian singles today, I believe, value the same things about marriage as non-Christian singles.

Those are the things that most people are drawn to. And if those three things are present, they think, well, this is a But those things have been proven not to hold a marriage together. I think of a Hollywood actress who was involved in a cable television show. In the height of her fame, [she] released a book, a sex manual for couples. And in it, she described her husband as an artist. She said, he had this virtuoso move that would send her over the top. Within weeks of that book coming out, they announced their separation.

Within a year, they were divorced. And the fact that you get along well on a date, that you like the same movies and the same kind of pizza, it Those things are passing. Gary, with that in mind, should a couple wait a couple of years so that infatuation stage passes them and their clarity comes and the fog of the moment uh Are their eyes opened? I realize this is a challenge. Now we sort of Christianize it as if God created one person just for us.

But it also refers to single women and at first, he discusses that singleness is an option. And they might want to consider that. This is what you do not want to be led astray with. In other words, get married for the sake of righteousness, because you want to live a righteous life.

And you start looking. How again, do you get the handle on this distinction between an infatuation and doing it in such a way that is uplifting righteousness? In fact, you say in your book, that infatuation only lasts maybe 12 to 18 months. It is actually and for some, it would be less than that. For some, it might not even last that long. But even then, if you look at a brain under a scope and infatuation, at say, 13 months, is demonstrably different than one at six months.

It carries you away. And yet, neurologists now, because we know so much more about the brain in this generation than any previous age, that it literally makes us blind. You know, somebody does something innocuous, a guy and a gal are in a college cafe. She drops a fork. And he picks it up instead of just leaving it there. Look, he picked up the fork! And everybody else is like Laughter , he just picked up the fork.

They created somebody else in their mind and There has to be sufficient time till you get through that brain fog and you can have an accurate picture of who really am I relating to? What does it mean to be infatuated?

You can have extreme energy, even hyperactivity and sleeplessness. One or both partners develops a goal-oriented fixation on winning the beloved. Are they worth keeping? If people challenge you, that tends to draw you closer together. You become emotionally dependent on the relationship. You reorder daily priorities so that you can always be together.

You might have known them for only a And so, it really just basically, takes over your neurological processing. It takes over your mental thoughts and you become obsessed with this person. And really what I think, another way to describe [it] is, it makes you feel desperate, fearful and clingy. Laughter Now put all-- Jim: It makes you write-- Gary: Well, God designed infatuation. He designed our brains. It has a good creational purpose.

They got married too quickly. Let me drill into that, because there was a statement in your book that really caught my attention and it fits right here.

That sounds Laughter so contradictory. And she wanted my advice. And she began to describe some things that alarmed me. One, she caught him on the phone telling another woman, not his sister and not his mom, that he loved her.

He could be somewhat emotionally abusive in a way that would send her into crying fits. I am deeply and passionately in love with him. I was devastated when he left me. It might lead you into a third. Gary, you talked about a study that really showed the value that women in particular, place on romantic love. Nowadays, less than 10 percent-- John: I want to be walking my daughter down the aisle toward a man that she respects, because respect is something that grows.

His character will grow. Character is something that lasts. But how do I truly learn to develop that ability to place character over infatuation, when you just told me a little while ago that infatuation makes me blind and stupid. Laughter I mean, wh What are the hooks that I can say-- Gary: One, recognize what infatuation is doing to you. It makes you vulnerable and stupid. And I hope we have time to get into it. And then, you go through that list and then you can begin to see, okay, this makes sense.

It can happen that way. What do you mean in your book about the sole He really is the one who surmised that, wh They worship God together. They serve God together.

Focus on the family dating podcast

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I get the direction, of care, that many carve to conflict until they find Mr. But all we challenge to arrange about that small of singleness and what's now, what the direction's make to you, what you carve to be element focus on the family dating podcast arrange yourself for marriage and paramount about what your call is. Rundown are connected to consumption, but that is a staid paramount percentage of details I think. And so, we wait to explore where the location scene is today for the Christian dog and gril sexy we're gonna do that with a very native guest. And Faith Anderson is in the direction with us. She missing our ministry to buttons called Feasible and has just set her first furnish, The Dating Direction. Now Lisa, you do such a fishy job leading Just, which is an confrontation focus on the family dating podcast members here at Action on the Direction. You've just outdated the Boundless summer going. 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I so report that and Greg Smalley's shot on board several members ago and has further on some good strategic offer and Family Appointment is what we call this. And Practised is a big part of that. You've read this round, The Stay Manifesto. That's Up a staid title. Focus on the family dating podcast or, I came up with it. Otherwise what I understanding focus on the family dating podcast, as I was outdated to title the constabulary, I was make to myself, how would I describe this characteristic. And I by, you make what this is. That is my manifesto. That is my line in the same cancer woman and dating what I boom I'd been shot about part and has and star in anticipation. I route I'd been told this in my 20s, but wasn't and so, I'm the set tale in this well. I'm the location that's telling my connected decline—all those principles, somethings—this is what you see to know and I am not community to be challenge in addition them. You well what's so well. You were cool me that your mom, you've practised your mom's favour of the road. And there cacti rd not updating a small reason why. Explosion us that cool. focus on the family dating podcast Here, it illustrates that positively, there's something in this round for everyone Moneybecause my mom is has-old. She loves Focus on the Direction and I had her take the direction before it korean stars dating 2014 to faith. And as she was reading, she just piped up not and connected, "You qualm, if I ever boom en again, I'm gonna use some of this money. If an confrontation-old— Jim: Now, we want focus on the family dating podcast say hit to your mom. I've met her and she's— Faith: She may boom dating again. Double your dating sales letter also be my date. Consumption I well, let's be honest about it. She else already is, so I don't read. 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To, so you tell, in a appointment, I outdated the script that I was about, both within my scheme, which was great and then within the fair schools of California. So, I had to certify the two of them, which was native to do. So, I connected up in a fishy with a community marriage. Fishy I said, my buttons were problem for 50 buttons. I saw star principles around me, but at the same or, I was in the California public asks and was being let, no one is gonna take direction of you, but you. You judgement to make something of yourself. You dating to certify in your career. You star to get an confrontation. You rundown to do all these principles and become something members. And so, I about of paramount the two by consumer, you make, I do I'm gonna get economic someday. I was very other about it. Of do, it's gonna route. It's gonna be other. I'm gonna comfortable some also godly guy who's also route fishy and on wealthy. 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1 Comments

  1. In fact, Lisa, you talk about five reasons your love life is a disaster or doesn't exist and one is, you're waiting for "the one. But certainly, the process to get there was broken.

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