A How To Guide Describing yourself is probably one of the hardest things to do. Putting yourself on display is a close second. The problem is that the same self that is doing the describing, it also the one that is being described. While this probably conjures images of snakes swallowing their own tail, and rightfully so, it also conjures a sense of existential dread that has disabled some of the most brilliant philosophers in human history.
Do you have a dry wit? Do you like jokes about poop? Are you really into working out? What are your hobbies? What do you do for a living? What are your hopes and dreams? How do you see yourself in 10 years? What are your politics like? What are you looking for in a relationship?
Do you like to travel? Where have you traveled? Do you play any sports? What do you like to read? What are your favorite TV shows? What kind of movies do you like? What is your average day like? What do you do with your friends on the weekend? Questions like these all successfully avoid the necessity of describing yourself. Instead, you describe the things that important to you, while bringing out the traits of your own personality to the fore. Are you a positive person?
Bad Online Dating Profile Idea: No Fatties or Larva; No Basement Monsters Needless to say, being a total snark in your profile is probably not a great idea. Attracting the right kind of people is an art form, but that art form is not Brutalism. Pot-smoking-mall-guy will correctly assume that you are not interested in him, and move on to friendly club girl.
All acting douchey in your profile will get you is humiliation. There are scores of websites out there that post the worst and nastiest profiles they find on the web.