Unfortunately, the fantasy may be a lot further away from reality then one might wish for. For those of you brave enough to continue reading, here is the horrifying truth: We are normal girls!
Porn is a job and nothing more. That being said, it takes a monumental human to be in a relationship with a porn star. The levels of understanding, patience, energy, and the complete lack of jealousy you need to possess to be with these creatures is colossal.
I know, I know. I get to have sex all day at work and then I can come home to my boyfriend and bang his brains out all night, why stop there? I even masturbate in the taxi back from work to my house just so my vagina NEVER, ever gets a break and turns into some sort of black hole that penises just fall into and never return from.
The noises, the facial expressions, the positions, its choreographed and clinical. There is nothing sexy about a porn set and there is definitely nothing sexy about porn sex. Being on set is like hanging out at any other photo or film shoot, except that everyone is totally immune to just how naked they are. Are you aroused yet? Want and need are two very different things. Porn girls at the top of their game are some of the most hard working, business savvy, independent women I have ever seen.
After spending years traveling the world, living in hotels and model houses, meeting new people every day, and, on most occasions, fucking them, it's hard not to become independent.
I love my relationship because my other half is just that, my other half. We split bills, we split chores, we help each other out, we buy each other gifts, everything is a balance, an equal partnership. I am not that girl that needs a man to carry her. To some men it can be incredibly intimidating to have a woman that earns as much as them, works as hard as them, and is as powerful as them.
Learn to embrace it. A powerful woman is a wonderful thing. I may be powerful and independent, but I am more insecure than all of your exes put together. You have to be pretty self confident to do that right?
Yes, or just a bit fucking crazy. Remember that our livelihood relies on our body and our looks. The crippling anxiety and tremendous pressure that come hand in hand with doing porn would turn anyone insane.
Maybe some girls get into it because they want to make a bit of cash in a short amount of time, but to be a career girl, to be top of your game, this industry knows how to make you work, and after you work that hard it can be soul destroying to see younger, prettier, thinner girls booked instead of you.
To say you need a thick skin to be in the adult industry is an understatement, and boy you better have an even thicker one to date us. This one speaks for itself really. For me this is the most important point on the list.
If you knew what my deal was going into things then you have no right to judge me. I understand that it's hard to separate this kind of work from reality but if you want to date a porn girl, you better start separating. Throughout my time in the industry I have dated on and off, performers and non-performers. That being said, I do adore porn's power couples: However, dating civilians also proved to be a no go for me, I constantly ran into two types of guys.
This guy is very sweet, and very nice and wants to "save" me. From what, I am never truly sure. The career I chose? The house in London I bought? Being my own boss? These guys will tell a girl they are "too good for porn" and then offer to "look after" them. So we all know why this guy wants to date a porn star.
Something pretty to have on his arm and to brag about to his friends. He thinks that just because a girl does porn, this automatically makes her a braindead slut that is only good for one thing. There is no use trying to be in a proper relationship with this guy. He will never be in a proper relationship, if ever he does lock down a girl, he will probably cheat on her. Dating can be a pain. So as you can see, dating for a girl in porn can be a tremendous pain the backside.
A lot of us maintain a single status and marry our career. That is exactly what I did. When I met my partner I was dead set on nothing happening.
He seemed lovely, sweet, funny, and physically ticked every box I could possibly have wished for. We fell into each other's lives with ease largely because neither of us were looking to be in a relationship.
There was nothing false or forced about our courtship. It was like good friends getting to know each other and then having epic sex. Recently, I scaled back my performing levels and decided to work on other things: I have always planned on doing this and the time was right for me, but a lot people thought it was because of my relationship. I love my independence more than anything. I have ended things with numerous guys, simply for hinting they wanted me to quit. He has never and would never ask me to stop.
My relationship works because we have mutual respect and admiration for each other, we both travel a large amount of the time, and we both work in entertainment, which makes understanding each others lifestyles a lot easier. I could not ask for anything better. I never feel pressured, I feel supported in every decision and everything I do.
I feel free, but I feel it with someone incredible by my side.