Then where would I take her? What if the date was bad? What would I even do with a girlfriend if I had one? And to top it off, for years I was extremely insecure. I thought I looked ugly growing up, I was scared to smile because of my slightly crooked front teeth, and I believed my appearance was the reason no girls ever showed interest in me. I talked about this in my video on social anxiety and dating. But being shy is not the same block for them as it is for men.
The truth is that many shy men can go months or even years without having a girlfriend, dating or even kissing a girl. Well, the first obvious reason is that confidence and social status are probably the most attractive things to a woman. Think back to your high school, who were all the cutest girls dating? The popular and cool guys, the ones who spoke up fearlessly, a.
So a shy guy has to somehow overcome that paralyzing anxiety you feel when you want to go talk to a girl you like. Lastly, what do you even say to her? This is one of the most common question I get. Where To Meet A Girl? You could become a stock photographer. Thats one way to meet women. People meet each other in many different places, in many different ways.
Because some random dating coaches recommended it. I hated the obnoxious too-loud pop music. Pretending that I liked dancing. Heck, I barely even drink alcohol. It took me a few months of banging my head against the wall to realize the obvious: Stop thinking about where to meet any girl.
Start thinking about where you can meet the girl who is right for you. The first step to finding a girlfriend is to put yourself into situations where you can meet many different girls that have a high chance of being compatible with you. Most guys meet their girlfriends: At school, work or while doing one of their hobbies. The key is to get out of the house often. Online dating is also getting more popular.
You have to put yourself into situations where you have a chance to come in contact with women. Now to the next step… 2. Want to know something a bit embarrassing? Growing up, I was surrounded by girls. There were plenty in each of my classes. In high school there were probably hundreds. Even in university… where there were SO. Just like in the movies.
The truth was, I was a loner and not a very attractive person. Depressed, insecure about how I looked, little sense of fashion, and unable to even look a cute woman in the eyes for more than 1 second. I had to overcome many of my fears and build new conversation skills. I had to learn how to become more comfortable with myself and comfortable connecting with other people.
You cannot have close personal relationships unless you are comfortable with yourself. How does she look? Yet this happens to women all the time. Why do men tend to be visual and more superficial? It wired us to be attracted to a women likely to produce healthy kids with great genes. It was true a few thousand and a few million years ago.
Turns out human babies have enormously big heads to fit that big brain. And the fat stores around the hips are used in the later stages of pregnancy, allowing a woman to survive to have the baby and breastfeed it in our past when food was scarce. You do not choose who you are attracted to or not. For men that stimulus is usually visual: How does he do that? In all social species with pair-bonds, females are attracted to evidence that males display a chance for power in the community.
The attention of the tribe is a kind of psychic territory where we harvest the resources we cooperative apes need to survive. When it fully sinks in, it will change the way you see the social world forever. Back in my high school, I can even remember two guys who were very chubby, but they still got girlfriends easily because they were funny and confident. And your behavior can be changed with learning, practice and repetition.
This means you can become more attractive to women by working on yourself. This is why in my courses I focus a lot on changing your inner thought patterns and beliefs, not just learning new conversation tricks. When you feel good about yourself, then confidence comes more easily and naturally. Which brings me to the third step of this article… 3.
Well, the most straightforward examples are: Yet in my experience women are very attracted to strong, piercing eye contact. A clear resonant voice. Speaking up in a clear way shows people that you value what comes out of your mouth. Instead of a weak voice that people find hard to hear. I believe this is a sign of approval-seeking: And signs of seeking approval are low status and therefore unattractive. Feeling relaxed and comfortable inside.
Something I learned from Dr. These are just 3 simple examples of behaviors that can instantly make you more or less attractive to a girl. These types of behaviors underneath your words communicate a lot more about you, your dominance and social power, than your words ever could. A lot of my dates look like this: Whether you want to make her into your girlfriend or just sleep with her, touching is often the secret for turning a boring friendly conversation into a charged one.
So how do you touch her? It makes the situation feel a lot less formal, and it makes touching her much easier. In fact, guys touch each other in conversation like this all the time, too.
Take her hand and caress the outside, or examine her jewellery. Lightly brush her hair back from her face. It will be obvious from the way she responds or ignores your first light touches.
Having choice instead of loneliness feels great, and I deeply wish for you to experience the same transformation I did. If you enjoyed this post, then I have some good news.
This course is NOT for guys who can get some dates already. This is going to be a completely FREE email course for now. But since there is so much demand for this information I may take it down any day and instead sell a product on overcoming shyness around girls.
Sign up for it by clicking the orange button inside this box: You may also like.