Which can be a frustrating, confusing experience: In these situations, you have two options: But making the decision between resignation and pursuit can be difficult. And is it acceptable to chase a girl who already has a boyfriend? But first, we have to answer one important question. Why do you want a girl with a boyfriend? Before you go any further, you have to ask yourself why you want a girl who is already spoken for. With over three billion women in the world and not a few of them living within 50 miles of you , what makes this one so special?
If you have a compelling answer to that question, then there might be a good reason to pursue her. Going after a woman who is already attached comes with a few built-in problems. To start, her breakup — even if wants the relationship to end — will be difficult and painful for everyone involved. It might even be too painful for her to be with anyone in the short term. So while she might be interested now, or six weeks from now, she could easily change her mind. This might be rational or irrational, likely or unlikely — but the fear just might linger.
Here, as in most relationship challenges, sharing your concerns and discussing them openly will be essential. But it can also lead to some nasty residual fears. The quality of her character — what kind of person she is — should guide your feelings about her post break-up. So given these risks, ask yourself this: That should be one of your guiding questions: Is it even acceptable to go after a girl with a boyfriend?
Once again, your motivations will help you examine the ethical aspect of chasing a girl with a boyfriend. You should, however, think long and hard about the implications of inserting yourself into a toxic relationship and dating someone who would enter one. But getting involved in a toxic relationship is also a bit like a quicksand pit. The harder you try to get her, the more enmeshed you become in her toxic relationship, which saps your energy and makes it harder for you to be a strong, healthy person.
In the latter, you need to seriously consider your reasons for chasing her — and determine whether you both want to pursue this relationship.
If you feel that you must be with this person, and — this is essential — the feeling is clearly mutual that is, she feels about you the way you feel about her, and you both want to be together , then you can and should go for it. But ethically speaking, two self-aware adults choosing to be with each other despite any previous attachments is a reasonable ground upon which to build a relationship. But there also strong reasons not to pursue an attached woman. If a girl is in a relationship that makes her happy, why would you want to break it up?
Again, we return to the question of motivation. There are excellent reasons to be friends with women, and — as we often say on the podcast — female friends are essential to a well-rounded social life. So consider the practical and ethical considerations here. We can only share the right questions to ask so you can make sound decisions for the long term. Your abundance mentality — the mindset that there are tons of women out there who you could start a relationship with — is going to help you maintain the perspective and attitude you need to get a girl with a boyfriend to fall in love with you.
But your abundance mentality is part of a bigger picture. You need to put yourself first when wooing anyone, especially a girl who already has a boyfriend. In practice, that means having time for her only when you actually have time for her. The best and most attractive thing you can offer her right now is your strength and independence from her situation. Running every time she says she needs you erodes that strength and independence. But you can always do a little more to deepen the connection you already have and push it toward romantic love.
That, more than anything, will give her a compelling reason to be with you. One powerful way to be there for her while simultaneously creating attraction is to make her laugh. You just have to show her a good time. At the same time, she might not be getting a lot of interest in her at home. One hallmark of bad relationships is that one or both parties start feeling unappreciated.
She might have totally forgotten what it feels like to have a man want her. Making her feel appreciated and desired might be the emotional step you need to spark romance between the two of you. If this is the case, play to your strength in having more in common with her — not superficially, but emotionally, intellectually and creatively.
Sometimes, especially in long-term relationships, one partner can become disinterested or out of step with the passions of the other person. Once your emotional and intellectual chemistry is developed, you must find a way to express your physical interest in her. You run the risk of being the shoulder she cries on when her relationship is bad, or just an escape from her bad relationship, without a physical component.
It also allows you to test her interest in you, and to slowly, respectfully, move the boundaries of your existing relationship forward. If she reciprocates, then an attraction is almost certainly developing between you. In short, getting a woman in a relationship to fall for you is very difficult, complex and far from guaranteed. Now you just need to shift that a little bit and the two of you can have something even more than friends. Whatever you choose, continually return to the why.
Your motivations and her feelings, more than anything else, will be your guide in this challenging but important dynamic. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful.
However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression.
It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born. Start Listening Today The Art of Charm Bootcamp The Art of Charm Bootcamp is a revolutionary school for men created by a team of social dynamics experts that have taken thousands of guys from ordinary to extraordinary.