My husband only wants sex from me. He Only Wants Me for Sex.



My husband only wants sex from me

My husband only wants sex from me

I was sure my husband valued me only for sex. I knew I should be okay that he wanted me sexually—but for years, that was the only time he seemed to want me. I have some friends I consider close because they note when I am tired, happy, or preoccupied. They pay attention and comment on their observations about me. When you bother to pay attention to me and make an effort to encourage or support me in what you observe, I feel loved and valued.

My belief that my husband wanted me only for sex grew out of the fact that it is only when he is planning to make a sexual advance that my husband pays close attention to me in a way that matters to me.

Appreciate Me One thing that helps me feel acknowledged is when someone recognizes the time and effort I have put into something—especially when it has gone above and beyond my usual efforts. I have always made an effort to thank people for doing their jobs. This confuses my husband. He occasionally thanks me for cooking food he likes or for doing his laundry—but he never expresses his appreciation for these things or acknowledges the time and effort I put into doing things for him.

In fact, the only thing I remember him expressing appreciation for is that I have changed how I approach sex. Is it any surprise that I thought my husband valued me only for sex? Fighting the Feelings This belief that my husband values me only for sex is one I still have to fight against on occasion—and sometimes I lose that battle. I have to make a decision to act according to what I know to be true rather than according to what I feel.

How do I do this? Some people find it helpful to look at this in terms of love languages. My feelings are not truth. I make a point of looking at what my husband does and says on his terms, not mine. It is the way he is wired to experience deep emotional connection with me. Sure, he wants an orgasm—but even more than that, he wants to feel intimately connected with me—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is how he feels whole. If you are a wife who thinks your husband wants you only for sex, I would like to encourage you to consider a change to your approach: Look for the ways your husband acknowledges and expresses his feelings for you.

If someone asked him how he shows his wife he loves her, what would he say? Does he provide for you? Does he keep the oil changed in your car? Does he buy your favorite sparkling water for you at the grocery store? Being with you sexually makes him feel whole in a way that absolutely nothing else can. Me My husband is a good man.

He appreciates me deeply. His life and heart are intimately intertwined with mine. I am part of him in a way that no one else is. By seeing only the list of what he does not do, I blinded myself to all that he does do to express his feelings to me.

I was allowing myself to receive his love only in the shape I wanted , thereby rejecting most of what he was offering me. The fact that my husband makes an effort to acknowledge and appreciate me when he wants to have sex is actually a good thing.

It means that he wants to be part of me so much that he is already stepping outside his comfort zone to think about what I need from him. It is part of his own mental preparation for sex because his heart is already craving that connection.

I am the one my husband wants to have sex with. I am the one he wants to feel connected with. I am the one who makes him feel whole.

I am the one who holds his heart. Yes, he wants me for sex. Start here to learn more about the journey to healthy sexual intimacy in your marriage. This blog is supported by readers. If you would like to become a patron, click here for more information. I use affiliate links in my posts. Click on the button below to receive blog posts and newsletters by email.

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How To Be The Girl He Wants To Date Vs. The One He Just Wants To Have Sex With



My husband only wants sex from me

I was sure my husband valued me only for sex. I knew I should be okay that he wanted me sexually—but for years, that was the only time he seemed to want me. I have some friends I consider close because they note when I am tired, happy, or preoccupied. They pay attention and comment on their observations about me. When you bother to pay attention to me and make an effort to encourage or support me in what you observe, I feel loved and valued.

My belief that my husband wanted me only for sex grew out of the fact that it is only when he is planning to make a sexual advance that my husband pays close attention to me in a way that matters to me.

Appreciate Me One thing that helps me feel acknowledged is when someone recognizes the time and effort I have put into something—especially when it has gone above and beyond my usual efforts. I have always made an effort to thank people for doing their jobs. This confuses my husband. He occasionally thanks me for cooking food he likes or for doing his laundry—but he never expresses his appreciation for these things or acknowledges the time and effort I put into doing things for him.

In fact, the only thing I remember him expressing appreciation for is that I have changed how I approach sex. Is it any surprise that I thought my husband valued me only for sex? Fighting the Feelings This belief that my husband values me only for sex is one I still have to fight against on occasion—and sometimes I lose that battle.

I have to make a decision to act according to what I know to be true rather than according to what I feel. How do I do this? Some people find it helpful to look at this in terms of love languages. My feelings are not truth. I make a point of looking at what my husband does and says on his terms, not mine.

It is the way he is wired to experience deep emotional connection with me. Sure, he wants an orgasm—but even more than that, he wants to feel intimately connected with me—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is how he feels whole. If you are a wife who thinks your husband wants you only for sex, I would like to encourage you to consider a change to your approach: Look for the ways your husband acknowledges and expresses his feelings for you.

If someone asked him how he shows his wife he loves her, what would he say? Does he provide for you? Does he keep the oil changed in your car? Does he buy your favorite sparkling water for you at the grocery store? Being with you sexually makes him feel whole in a way that absolutely nothing else can. Me My husband is a good man. He appreciates me deeply. His life and heart are intimately intertwined with mine. I am part of him in a way that no one else is. By seeing only the list of what he does not do, I blinded myself to all that he does do to express his feelings to me.

I was allowing myself to receive his love only in the shape I wanted , thereby rejecting most of what he was offering me. The fact that my husband makes an effort to acknowledge and appreciate me when he wants to have sex is actually a good thing. It means that he wants to be part of me so much that he is already stepping outside his comfort zone to think about what I need from him.

It is part of his own mental preparation for sex because his heart is already craving that connection. I am the one my husband wants to have sex with. I am the one he wants to feel connected with.

I am the one who makes him feel whole. I am the one who holds his heart. Yes, he wants me for sex. Start here to learn more about the journey to healthy sexual intimacy in your marriage. This blog is supported by readers. If you would like to become a patron, click here for more information. I use affiliate links in my posts. Click on the button below to receive blog posts and newsletters by email.

My husband only wants sex from me

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