The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. The sex, when she has time to see me, is phenomenal. What should I do?
The Answer Reader, I am sympathetic. But something about this married woman got you. The curve of her leg, or her smile, or her intoxicating laugh. And now, you, foolish person that you are, are stuck on someone unavailable. Sometimes often, in fact what the stupid heart wants is stupid. She knows her husband inside and out. She knows about the foot smell. She smiles back at his yellow-toothed smile. But now you come along and you Ruin Everything.
That she developed this dream is understandable enough. Any human with functioning glands sees an attractive person and instantly fantasizes about what a magical unicorn they must be, and keeps that dream going as long as possible. And why is her phone buzzing all the time? Now, maybe their relationship was already terrible. But there are a lot of ways to deal with a terrible relationship.
You can make it into some kind of pell-mell polyamorous penetration-fest. This is an important illustration of her character. When she gets bored in a marriage, she hunts down some other guy and takes her pants off. This is a fine kind of person to get involved with if you just want to have a crazy affair.
Which might be fun. Surely, you were part of the process. One time, a married woman invited herself up to my apartment. After all, I participated in her conversation about how monogamy is stupid, and stared deeply into her eyes the whole time. And when she invited herself up, I accepted. What I did was regretful, and I regret it. Are you OK with that? Just to clarify the situation.
Stop talking to her, stop seeing her, unfollow her on Instagram, no matter how those yoga booty shots liven up your afternoon. Because let me tell you what happens next. Finally, she leaves her husband. All those hate-filled sessions with a divorce lawyer make her frisky as hell and you have crazy, all-night sex. She tells you how you excite her in ways her old husband never could.
You feel like more of a man. She probably thinks the same thing at first. And then, a few months later, she gets bored again. Because, remember, at first, her husband was a dream, just like you. And then the dream died. All of your habits irritate her to an unbelievable extent. She starts faking orgasms. She finds him on Facebook — just so they can talk about work. Then, casually, one day, he invites her out for a drink after work. Just a friendly drink, he assures her. What could go wrong? Think you could use some dating help, too?