By Jacob McMillen 54 Comments 10 Ridiculous Christian Myths About Dating You Probably Believe For those unfamiliar with the subject, dating is a relatively simple procedure that must always be hopelessly complicated for any Christian daring to try it out.
It seems that dating might be universally confusing. What makes Christian dating so hopelessly complicated is the Christians themselves. We bring our love for out-of-context scripture and applied-only-when-convenient principles into the mix, making for an entirely unique brand of utter ridiculousness.
Are these words used exactly? No, they are just slightly more subtle. These are real quotes from real published articles, by the way. The less we advertise, the less opportunity we give them to covet our bodies. Woman wears sexy clothes.
Man loses all control of body, soul, spirit, etc. My name is Stumble. Yes to 1 Tim 2: Yes to Romans No to offloading your immaturity onto the women around you. How about a little 2 Cor What are we cavemen? A Godly man will always make the first move. Time after time after time after time I hear it: You know what ladies, I actually agree with you.
It simply means they are lacking in awareness, confidence, or most commonly, know-what-they-want-edness. Why limit your options? No more relationships at all. No more of anything. By this theory, the only way to really master the art of dating is to not do it. Behold the dating master in his natural habitat. If dating hinders your relationship with God, why would you ever date… ever? Of course, if Jesus explicitly commanded you not to date, who am I to argue?
If my experience serves me correctly, however, your memory of that command will probably be inversely proportional to the hotness of your potential date. This is one of those oft-quoted home-group rules for dating. Oh wait… no… that never happened… ever… not even once. One of the biggest problems in Christian dating culture is the idea that young adults should limit their coed relationships to marriage fast-track candidates. This idea is primarily motivated by fear of voracious little sex drives running about, and like anything motivated by fear , it jumbles everything into a needless mess.
The dating process is your chance to experience the ups and downs of a real relationship without the pressure of flat-lining. Dating is only as serious as you make it, or as fun as you allow it to be. They key to not being a dumb dater on the heartbreak fast track is to keep the level of intimacy in the relationship one step behind the level of trust at all times. Meeting new people is awesome. Having fun with people is great. We Christians are so direly afraid of the sex. But check this out.
God actually created your sex drive. Just think about what that means for a moment. Your sex drive is not a rogue feature of your biology just waiting to destroy your life at the first opportune moment. It is a highly beneficial and enjoyable part of what makes you… you. It belongs to you. Christian girls always put good guys in the friendzone.
This is the inescapable, platonic box to which a girl supposedly designates any good guy who actually cares about her. The friendzone is a lie. Not Being A Jerk. Attraction is elicited by what someone IS, not what he or she is not. This can go both ways, but it seems most prevalent for guys.
If you want to be taken seriously as a date, take yourself seriously as a man. People who know who they are and are going after what they want tend to be very, very datable. It seems to me like a lot of hoop jumping in hopes of finding a four-leaf clover.
Let him order for you at the restaurant. Never talk about marriage on the first seven dates. Never sit at home idle, waiting for him to call you. A man who truly loves you for who you are will also want the absolute best for you, which means growth.
It means calling out the parts that need work. I prefer to use the entire cow. Every day is a choice. What we really should be focusing on are the qualities that indicate good long-term potential. I understand the heart behind this myth. Guys tend to overlook obvious deficiencies because… boobs. The single best way to destroy your life is to isolate from community and ignore all advice.
For the rest of you young people, I got news for you. In many ways, you really do. Every love story is unique. In our celebrity-loving Christian culture, anyone with a success story is ready to create a new theology or teaching to sell to the Body of Christ.
And anyone with a failure is too. Healthy dating is as simple as being intentional and practicing good communication. Let the guru geese leave their golden droppings all over the sanctuary.
Yours is one less life they get to stain. Dating, like everything else, is all about obedience. No list of dating advice is complete without a call for careful prayer and explicit obedience in your dating relationship. Children just love to be with their dad and know without question that he delights in them. You are free to be you.
You are free to embrace relationship, with all its twists and turns. Your Heavenly Father delights in you, and His Son came so you could have abundant life. Listen to advice from people with healthy lives and relationships. And enjoy your life. Fear has no place in Christianity. But what about Hell? Click below to download our 10, word study on eternal torment. What we found will probably surprise you.