Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Surely, there is something here that will be perfect for the lovable weirdo in your life.
The googly eyes on the elephant's face only add to the sensuality. Just use this gun-shaped wine bottle opener. Just put the bottle in a barrel and pull the trigger and you can drink. Mmmm, guns and alcohol: Unlike flowers, you can eat these buds. Welcome Home Gnome AlwaysFits. That tradition has gone away, but this gnome hopping out of a mushroom is the next best thing. Probably wouldn't want to see this if you are on 'shrooms.
It would freak you out. And there's no better product to do that than this anatomically correct gold heart pendant. Your lover will see it and say, "Be still my beating heart. With this emoji mask, your Valentine will know what you think about them even if they can't see your face or your text messages. So what if it's a little creepy. Lots of things about love are creepy.
Anyone who's seen a movie on the Lifetime channel knows that. Honestly, this looks less like a spoon and more like something else. Well, if you're down to fork Blood Splatter Bath Mat A conversation we'd like to hear: You know, with blood dripping all over it. I'm intuitive like that. These tipsy wine glasses will remind your love that you are much more attractive after a few glasses of vino.
Ukanlayme Shower Curtain CafePress. Of course, if you can only communicate your desires via shower curtain, there may be a deeper problem than any Weird Valentine's Day Gift Guide can solve. These are not meant to be a substitute for real birth control then again, neither is the rhythm method. Anatomical Heart in a Mug What a great way to wake up your Valentine: A cup of coffee where the mug bottom is shaped like an anatomical heart.
This handcuff bracelet will tell your Valentine that they are a prisoner of your love. The universal symbol of love finally available on a throw pillow. Love Stinks dogs sniffing butt throw pillow: This inch giant plush rose. No, there are no thorns, but figuring out where to put it after Valentine's Day could a be a thorny issue. On the bright side, this thing does a great job of cleaning cobwebs out of hard-to-reach areas.
Not sure the manufacturer wants me to tell you that. Boob Shaped French Press Tictail. This breast-shaped funnel is the perfect way to celebrate the joys of both java and the feminine body in one fell swoop. I'll take mine with cream, please. Anatomical Heart Undies CafePress. Of course, if the undies get faded with time and look like just a faded red blob, that won't be a problem or anything.
It's on these very revealing boxer-briefs, which can also double as cheesecloth in a pinch. Cleaning this metal device of yolk afterwards? How difficult and time-consuming even when you follow the directions designed to avoid this! Of course, heart-shaped poached eggs do look cute. Death Star Planetarium Looking at the stars is a time-honored act of romance, but who wants to gaze at those boring old stars in your own galaxy?
And sometimes it's just too cold or too cloudy to go outside. This Death Star Planetarium not only brings the stars inside but features the constellations from the Star Wars universe. Now you really can see the moons of Endor without going into hyperspace. The romance is strong with this one.
A cute candle of a kitty, rabbit or bird that becomes an evil skeleton after the wax melts. After all, the holiday is meant to represent that anything that is good and pure inevitably dissolves into dust or bones. Guess I better stop listening to so many emo records. Beating Heart Morphsuit HalloweenCostumes. Come to them in this body-clinging not-creepy-at-all Morphsuit designed to look like your skin has been removed from your body.
There's a pouch for your phone near your heart. Download an app and your love will see your beating heart for reals. No, you won't freak anyone out I don't think. Learn from my mistakes. As a result, I learned that my dental insurance is not as good as I thought.
This boom box-shaped yoga bag is a great way to show you're in tune with your lover's hobbies. Hearty Buns Brief 3Wishes. You will probably also are also confident you will be pulling them off fairly quickly after showing them to your love. Funny how that works. Tenderheart Bear Costume HalloweenCostumes.
Just show up in the boudoir dressed as Tender Heart Bear. Because there is nothing creepy about making love dressed as a beloved children's character. When it comes to hearts, you don't gotta catch 'em all -- one will do the trick. When you really want to show off your light saber. Excessively Milataristic Cupid Statuette Shapeways.
You think the upgrade would include a uniform change. The diaper is probably soggy by now.