She soon discovered she enjoyed watching more than participating. When did you realize you were into the idea of watching your partner with another woman? The first time I had a threesome. My partner and I had been together for three years, and monogamous for most of it. A couple of years ago, I had the idea that I would like to explore myself more sexually. I kind of pulled back and was just enjoying what was happening.
At that moment, I realized this was something I might be into. Did you know it was even a fetish? A friend who knew someone else who was into it said it was called being a cuckquean. It seems far more common for men to be into cuckolding — i. But not for women to be into watching their husbands or boyfriends sleep with other women. Did it make you really jealous to watch your partner with another woman?
And it was actually that jealousy that was the driving factor in why I enjoyed it so much. How did your boyfriend feel about it? Well, he definitely tried to include me in the whole thing. Do you do this with the same other woman or look for different other women? How do you go about finding other partners? I like girls as well, so usually what happens is that I find someone I like, and I introduce her to my partner.
How do you explain the situation to her? Well, the watching can get weird for some women. It depends on the comfort level of the women. The last time one of us had sex with someone else, it was a few months ago.
We were all drinking, and then my partner fell asleep because he got a little too drunk and went to bed. The other girl and I started making out, and we moved to the bedroom where he was sleeping. After she and I were done, she fell asleep totally naked. So I left her there in the bed with my partner and went to sleep on the couch.
And this part — getting all the details out of him — is part of the turn-on for you? So far I have. One thing that bothered me a lot after the first threesome was that I felt he was physically more into the other girl because she was more petite than me.
The other girl was significantly shorter than me, with a more fit body. Even the way he had sex with her was different than the way he has sex with me. It raised an insecurity in me from a physical point of view. I had to wonder, Do I satisfy him physically? Eventually, I addressed it. He was totally honest. You have to be happy with your body and enjoy the body you live in. And if this is the way you want to be, l love you. I just needed to hear him say he was happy with me to get over my insecurity.
Do you find yourself picking women with body types you think would please him, or do you pick women that please you? I think I subconsciously pick women that physically please him. Have you ever considered inviting men into the situation? Is he a cuckold? But he has offered [other men] to sleep with me. His approach is maybe not as welcoming as mine would be.
What do you think the biggest misconception is about your fetish? I imagine the biggest question people would have is about jealousy. Jealousy is a real thing. It can be destructive. If you know how to channel it, it can be quite exhilarating. Do you feel it makes the sex better between the two of you? We had great sex before when we were monogamous. I think it has to do with power. Men have more power in the way our world is structured. You get to imagine why men are so high on their power.
Women can enjoy it, if they let themselves. Tracy Moore is a staff writer at Vocativ, a contributor to Jezebel and the author of Oops! How to Rock the Mother of All Surprises.